Where have we been?

Time isn't even a thing anymore, is it?

We can only extend our apologies as to our time away from you all. Whilst we have tried to keep up an online presence through our Instagram stories, we have been pretty quiet on the blog and newsletter side of things.

Why is this?

To be honest, we have just been incredibly busy trying to either adapt to the new world of work and catching up with that and we've also been incredibly busy sitting and staring at nothing and then noticing that numerous hours have passed.

This lockdown has been slightly different to the last one for us. With education staying open we have still had to provide our University education as per the country's guidelines and provide the crazy amounts of assessments and written feedback to the students that is expected.

With another one of our jobs we have gone onto Zoom this time and have serious brain fog figuring out how all of the break rooms and everything work. We've lost one of our jobs through lockdown with not being able to tour the ballet company anymore and then our other job is still going on with lots of administration to cope with and numerous deadlines.

My colleague brought up an interesting point of view with Lockdown 2.0 in England as we discussed how much we are struggling this time around. Just a real feeling of not being able to get ourselves out of the depression. We know what we should be doing but we just can't do it. This time around we have the worry of the virus, but we can't turn our brains off which is how we think we made it through the first time. We have to continue to get through, with the worry of it all and with nothing to look forward to at the end of the work week, not even a hug from our parents.

Does anyone else feel like they are struggling more through this lockdown?

I must admit the way I am describing it, is much less eloquent than I would usually put my thought process across but I just can't find the words. I can barely hold on to the thought in my head.

I'm still on my medication but I have also completely an online referral today to mental health services through the doctor again today. I feel it's getting to the point where I am struggling to get through the day at the moment so hopefully they can do something. Based on my last time of referral I should hear from them some time in 2021, but who knows at the minute? I am also currently waiting on surgery that was supposed to happen in May.

I feel like my sentences are not making sense or do they even have a point, but I'm writing it all down because again this is an insight into my mind. How it changes and how important it is to be on top of it, which at the minute I am really not.

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